go team humans!

i kind of love that i'm super OCD but really messy. Like i'm not a habitually clean person, so i never put stuff away, or hang it up or whatever, right away, i'll just toss it in a pile. in high school my closet was actually two laundry baskets of cleanish clothes i'd spend hours sorting through in the morning. (SUPER efficient not knowing where anything is.) in my ACTUAL closet were all the clothes i never wore. anyway so my shit will get all messy and one day i'll freak out and clean for like a whole day and then it gets messy again because i really suck at being obsessive-compulsive. DARN it.

i miss the playa. i presented on burning man* tonight at ignite boulder though!! thanks to my muse. well my timing wasn't perfect and i couldn't reconcile a consistent spatial relationship with the mic, and i totally tunnel-visioned all thoughts and noises out, and just DID it, kinda just zenning it out not even consciously thinking. well, maybe not your typical zen, because i was advocating arbitrary use of fire (does that even make sense?), senseless (but FUN) violence (yay thunderdome), booze (i love the word booze) and drugs (can we have a funner word for those too please?). (in my defense, i was also advocating humanity's inherent genorosity and kindness. go team humans!) anyway, my space-out zennage may or may not have been a super good thing, but probably worked okay with my topic and my personality and the fact that i changed my topic at last minute (come on, i went to BURNING MAN) and despite practicing multiple extemporaneous versions, having a totally different presentation than anything i planned because i planned it to be unplanned.

*check it out, my name is Robot. (ooo, what did i link to? CLICK IT IT'S HILARIOUS TOO HILARIOUS FOR PUNCTUATION MARKS.)

(haha, i'm annoying and i find that hilarious. hoo boy.)

well it's 4 AM and i'm clearly starting to get a bit frisky. i've been going to bed super late lately. and by super late i mean super early, for me, to wake up. like when it's dark out. like 6-8 AM. why? i get all energetic at night. damn it.



is it just me or is anyone else consistently surprised that 'q' is farther up in the alphabet than they think it is? to me i just seems like it belongs at the VERY end, more near W than O.
always weirds me out

i just remembered that at some point at burning man i was talking about how i can't wait to be old. i'm gonna do a bunch of drugs because i won't need by brain or body for long anymore, and i'll wear crazy shit and say crazy things and drive really fast and wave my cane at people. OH MY GOD I TOTALLY WANT A CANE.
anyway i don't get why people aren't "supposed" to ask about age. when i'm fifty i'm gonna be all "I'M FIFTY." hell, when i'm thirty-seven i'll be like "I'M THIRTY-SEVEN." and if people are like "oh! i thought you were younger than that." i'll be like "NOPE. I'M THIRTY-SEVEN."
and they'll be like "please stop screaming my ear." and i'll be like "I CAN'T HEAR YOU, I'M OLD." and they will stab me in the eye with a salad fork. and i'll be all "that didn't even work, that was a big wooden spoon, you might want to use the other end" and he'll be like "well you're not shouting anymore, so i don't really need to." and i'll be like "i quite concur" and he'll go "indeed."
i could even through in my weight and dress size, just to be like "COME ON GUYS. NOT A BIG DEAL."

Lesson 1 from the Playa:
Fuck Pants.

Yeah. Why is pantlessness such a BIG GODDAMN DEAL? i have a fleshy human form. (i am a robot underneath, shh don't tell anyone.) who the fuck CARES? i want to be able to put on underwear and be done getting dressed for the day. i want to be FREEEEEEEE. free of PANTS.
...unless it's cold.
or i feel like wearing pants.

so i'm taking beginning russian this semester instead of going into advanced chinese (just SO not ready for that, plus i've been lusting after russian for a while) and sometimes people say stuff like "wow, you speak (blahblahblah)" and here is the truth:
1. i'm learning chinese to feel like a badass
2. i'm learning russian to make funny noises with my mouth*

*technically, as a linguist, all languages are equal and i'm probably not supposed to say that but come on, crazy consonant clusters are....uh, crazy.

time for bed.
(i concur.)

a love affair with laundry

AND NOW!!!
IT'S TIME FOR...
WORDS THAT MAKE ME GIGGLE

-vestibule
-nubbin
-coinage
-refurbish
(always makes me think of furbies, which inevitably results in what can only be described as a horrified chortle)


well that was fun.


I realized recently that one of the many reasons i like being awake at night is the total freedom from obligations. No one expects you to call them, or pick up your phone, at 2 AM. No stores are open, which means errands can't be run. Offices are closed, bossess are asleep. Even friends are sleeping.

Well i'm getting ready for Burning Man (note: scroll down for sweeeet pictures) and here are some of the things i've bought:


Glow leis: To wear at night for safety and awesomeness (how often can you say that?) and for gifting













A happy pink flower umbrella because i hear it gets sunny in the desert

Oh and you gotta have a costume or two!


Plus my roommate made me an AWESOME costume, a corset-dress thingy out of a pillowcase and two curtains from Savers. RAD.

Anyway gotta go buy a tent today, and an air mattress. This trip is super expensive (thank god i got the scholarship ticket!!!)* although I'm fucking psyched my computer can fit in my Camelback!! Wow, look at me, my trendy hip Apple laptop in my brand-new purple Camelback! BONUS POINTS: I am wearing a tye-dye skirt
AND THE WIN: I have a big-ass yin-yang tattoo all up my back.
DING DING DING! I'm from Boulder!

...
LOVE it.


AND as part of my preparation for Burning Man, I haven't showered in three days! RAD.

THIS IS HOW I THINK:
i may have just spent $15o on hats, but i figure i save about two dollars a month by not using dryer sheets so i'm pretty much even.
honestly, why do we even NEED dryer sheets? ooohh, static cliiiing. MY ONLY WEAKNESS!

MORE THOUGHTS ON DRYERS
in my new house there is an option on the dryer that is "no heat." which i don't understand because a no-heat drying is like...a crime against laundry. because pretty much the whole point of laundry is to take everything out of the dryer when it's all warm... and hugging it tightly and breathing in the smell of laundry as the lovely warmth encompasses you slowly, gently...

ahem.


ANOTHER ALLCAPS CAPTION
well that was fun.

i am secretly a hobo

THINGS I HAVE A HARD TIME THROWING AWAY:

Clothing:
it's so hard to throw away a shirt. even if it's old or ripped or horribly stained, it just FEELS wrong to place it on top of banana peels (just kidding, i compost. i'm from boulder) and empty bags and like...stale, modly ends of breads and yogurt lids. WHAT IF SOMEONE WANTED TO WEAR THAT?! Plus people always take it out of the trash can. even if you CAN bring yourself to throw away a super old dirty ripped shirt and muster up the courage (is that the right word here? no. not even a little.) to toss it, someone will INEVITABLY take it out and be like "there was a shirt in the trash" and you were like i KNOW, i THREW IT AWAY and they're like "take it too goodwill" and you're like "IT IS RIPPED ENTIRELY IN HALF AND HAS A KETCHUP STAIN THE SIZE OF TEXAS ON THE BACK" and they're like "how'd you get so much ketchup on...the BACK of your shirt? and why did you keep it so long? didn't you WEAR it after that?" and you're like "DON'T JUDGE ME I AM SECRETELY A HOBO"

Paper:
Or anything recycleable. it makes me twitch to see a soda can or paper in a trash can. in high school, i always yelled at people to recycle when they tried to throw out a piece of paper---once, someone from one of my classes came up to me in the hallway and proudly proclaimed that they recycled today! was i really that crazy about it? probably.

Pens:
Along the lines of a shirt--just seems like it DOES NOT belong in a trash can.

Anything Fancy-Seeming or Cool Containers
I have kept weird shit like my anti-zit stuff because i can't bring myself to throw out the container, because i think it is neat.



APPARENTLY I AM WEIRD

it is my goal in life, after living/traveling throughout south america/the world, to own a tiny house. like a TINY house. and instead of a bed i want a hammock. and instead of a desk, a dining room table, and coffee/end tables, i want one of those super low japanese tea tables and instead of a couch, a bunch of floor cushins. and instead of shelves, i want stacks of books randomly around the room, with candles or plants on top. and instead of furniture, i want nothing. with plants and books everywhere! and a spiral staircase. and a garden. and a gazebo. and a rooftop porch and hottub. and a manslavehouseboy named Manuel. *claps once* "Manuel! Another daquiri!"


I normally loathe rap but lately i've been super into 3OH3!
and saying "super" before every adjective. seriously. today i have said:
"super busy"
"super happy"
"super hungry"
"super awesome"

it just feels quaint, somehow, kinda 50's, to say "super." and "neato." LOVE it.

I want another tattoo(i am....super wanty of a new tattoo? or three?) . i'm thinking about the weird design of a necklace i wore all the time for a long time behind my ear and down my neck. or a BEE behind my ear. LOVE BEES. FUCK WASPS. i have very strong feelings on this. LOUD NOISES. i say that sometimes at Ren Fest, when you spend all day hollering at strangers and harassing the shit out them them to make an ass of themseves on a ladder falling in the hay (hey! you should all come to ren fest!) where was i? ...where AM i?
just kidding.
are you calling me fat?

i am only a skeleton

well i'm sick again. that's what i get for working at a preschool. DAMN KIDS!!! aww no i luvs them. ...(*glances around, sees no children, and shakes fist*)
also, i have a total inability to go to sleep if i have to pee AT ALL, like if i didn't pee within three minutes of getting into bed i will lay there obsessively thinking "should i get up and go pee? i think i kind of have to pee. no i'm probably fine. i barely have to pee. but i kind of have to pee. should i get up and pee?"
anyway this is a problem when i'm sick and drink like three gallons of tea and water+emergenC/airbourne because i'm trying to nip it in the bud (wow, i sound like my grandma. who is fucking INVINCIBLE by the way. what a badass. not that she would approve of me calling her that. probably. i wonder if she even knows what it means. aww my grandma's adorable.) but because i have 2 classes and 2 jobs and 1 boyfriend i never get enough sleep so i stay sick fo evah and it makes me sad and sniffly which pisses everyone off when we're in a test and i'm the back like "SNIIIIIF. HOCCCK. COUGGGGH. HAAACK. SNIIIIFFF" which i totally undersand because i hate it when people do that too.

i hate being sick because i can't (or shouldn't) climb and that makes me sad.
i loved being all hella ripped back in the day and scaring the bejeesus out of girls with my manly muscles and hardcore callouses. seriously. making girls gasp and jump when you flex or just when they see your arms or touch your hands. bwahhahahaha.

i think the british accent is a crock of shit.
this is because british singers DON'T HAVE A BRITISH ACCENT.
SUSPICIOUS??!!! yes. fucking exactly.
also, i can't understand british accents AT ALL, and kept asking "what's he saying? what's going on? can we turn the subtitles on?" when watching Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, and Boondock Saints. Seriously. I need a translator. They talk all fast and crazy and I DO NOT UNDERSTAND YOU PEOPLE.
also, i can't speak it ("it"=British). although for a while there whenever i was high i only and automatically talked in a british accent (it's SO FUNNY).
so my british accent sucks. most of my accent attempts are pretty sad, and end up being some kind of mixture of indian/british/russian/chinese.
i totally want to hear somebody speak chinese with a british accent.
or russian with a chinese accent.
or any other language, in another other language's accent.
....hehehe.

i expect unicorns

The dichotomy:

My beautiful ballerina friend this weekend was having the great Mac/PC argument with her husband. When I asked for her advice for which sucks less (my computer takes about 7 minutes to start up and 2 just to open firefox, no shit i've timed this), she asked me several questions. One was "are you organized?"
This is a tricky question because I am on both ends of the spectrum and nowhere really in between.

On the one hand, my closet is color-coded in the order of the rainbow, with shirts within a color organized by length of sleeve. Apparently this is weird?

On the other hand, when taking notes in class, i don't have One Official Notebook. I take notes on the back of syllabi (SHUT UP spellcheck that is a word you fucking anti-Latin case-endings FREAK), on the back of old notes, on scraps of paper, on the inside of folders, and wherever the hell there's space to write because i'm not so organized in that way. As in, I'm incapable of schlepping one of my fucking millions of empty notebooks to class and taking notes on the pages sequentially left to right and not on my arm because i was late again and forgot to get paper and missed the bus again because i had to run inside to get a banana and some challah (pronounced HOLLA!!!) because who the fuck has time to eat in the morning when you set your alarm an hour before you need to go and hit the snooze button four times and then take a twenty-minute shower because hot running water is amazing and i think i lived in a third-world country in a past live given my deep, heartfelt appreciation (and lustful longing for) showers. And run-on sentences, apparently. I blame the blogess. She makes me want to take anti-depressents. (seriously.)

random shit in my mini Moleskines:

-"Sounds and noises and things...is what."
-"I (heart) wigwam)" (picture of a teepee...what is a wigwam anyway? well it's fun to say. wigam wigwam wigwam wigwam wigwam wigwam. and i totally typed all that out becuase i am HARDCORE WOO! fuck copy paste.)
-"They invented the shish-ka-bob"
-"I just had a thought, and the thought was.........oh fuck."
-" oximoronic (in a rap)"
-"band name Anemic Amboeic Amoeic Ameob Amoeba morpheme Amoebaic Amb Amoeba"
-"gay Nazi lady"
-"that thing you said wasn't me, WAS ME."
-"metonymic limerick"
-"nasal velar fricative"
-"winged moonlight/sunrise over Egypt"

and my personal favorite:
"I expect unicorns."

and you know what?

I DO.

i am fairlyliterate

Does anybody "Tweet"? I "Tweet" now. I am cool. I am popular. I have no friends.
I am fairlyliterate.
That is my Twitter name.
If you're on, you should friendify me.
Which is, by the way, a totally convincing and logical argument.
Also, join my cult.

A conversation about it between me and a Logic/Philosophy teacher/friend:

Me: Are you on Twitter? My sister just convinced me to join.
Him: What's her argument?
Me: She didn't really have an argument. She just said I should. And she's a smart lady.
Him: You call that convincing? It's time for Steve to kill you.

where is threre?

your youness interrupting my new meness
reminding me of the scattered erupting old shiny sadness
so i try to smile for a while
breathe and hold your color
remind me that i am me
my color holding fast and steady
electric blue
sad smile
fuck you

i look back at you and see
not a rational human being
but a robot comma drama queen
i want to just unlink me
screaming or silentquietly


sometimes songs are how i feel