Video Games: 1. Reality: 0

true story: i was sitting at my desk as usual, surfing the internet (some possible sites browsed: my favorite blog ever, postsecret, etc.) as my boyfriend and his brother were talking about how they were bored of all the half-dozen video games they play regularly and what they should do. Conversation commenced as follows:
Brother: What do people do who don't play video games?
Boyfriend: Yeah, Kaley, you don't play video games, what do you do?
Me: Well, right now i'm reading about broccoli...

Video Games: 1. Reality: 0


in case you haven't been feeling snooty enough lately, have some fun with this:

sesquipedalian \ses-kwuh-puh-DAYL-yuhn\, adjective:

1. Given to or characterized by the use of long words.
2. Long and ponderous; having many syllables.
3. A long word.

in case you want more conversations like this:
1: The word i'm about to say is sesquipedalian.
2: what's that?
1: sesquipedalian? it's a long word.
2: yeah. i realized that. what's it mean?
1: sesquipedalian is a long word.
2: please go die.






Pandora: why didn't someone come up with this sooner? type in a band or song you like, and hear more like it. FUCK YEAH. through this i found my new favorite song EVER: Fern by Zoe Keating. it's cello electronica kinda? basically i liked it so much that i told my boyfriend "I found an artist that is so good they make me want to DRIVE, to a STORE, to pay, with MONEY, to PURCHASE, a PHYSICAL COPY."
in this age of itunes, that is a true compliment.
speaking of CDs, i was browsing through craigslist for a decent, lightweight desk with drawers and shelves (is that too much to ask?!) and saw approximately nine million desks with those CD separators and a lower shelf designed specifically for the desktop computer's rectangular brain. it's just funny to think that when those were designed like ten, twenty years ago, you know all the people who came up with those additions were like 'FUCK YEAH WE'RE EFFING GENIUSES' only to have their idea become antiquated within a decade with the advent of mp3s and the ubiquity of laptops. suckers.

i used to be pretty interesting. and by interesting, i mean insane.

so back in my angsty crazy high-school days, i journaled every day. i felt that if i didn't, my head would explode with a cacophony**, a melange* of unexpressed vituperation*. anyhoo, so i used to be pretty interesting and have some stream-of-consciousness narratives and some poetry. so my best friend and i were talking about getting into writing poetry again, and since i haven't really written much in the last 2 years, i went back to baaaaaaack in the day where i wrote a fuckton of schtuff. so here it is.


*i get word-a-day e-mails from dictionary.com, because i am a nerd.

**this word i didn't learn from word-a-day, because i am a freaking Nerd.



-------


mindspew heyou. nothing is beautiful but inexpicable unexplainable unwordable incomprehensible something is beautiful anymore. mindorgasm--more the mental, emotional, comfort, safety. engulf me completely. how can you activate, jolt, electrocute, scream, always with the screaming and the beauty, my obsessions as of always. how can you jolt when you sit here mindspewing on the internet, that which you don't abhor all the more on the floor with the war. oh god and the bouncing, evermore. one is essential, without it nothing is nothing and that could be anything--don't make that mistake. you can't delete something once you've written it. you can't unthink something once you've thought it. almost too perfect a wrongness to correct. one day, the puddle will unmelt freeze into an ice cube. learn to use the little voice to your advantage. meaning in everything? subconscious, maybe you can't find it. maybe you don't want to. maybe not interesting anymore. maybe maybe. FUCK i reek of me.
you have a place.
the point is that if you question it, it loses meaning.


-----


i want to smash precious things
i'm letting go of all the wrong things


-----


lose sight of the ground
lose sight of the sound
scales and bubbles and the blood on your lips
blood erased from my fingertips
another nonsense poem
another long way down
in over my head
fast is the stead
release then push to go so far
watch and learn
blinded churn
make it work, that living thing
you're alive, so live
don't forget to forgive
again my knuckles are bruised but not
from beating myself up
half jump half fall
i'd give up everything to have it all




(the sweet picture is from here)

if i were a guy, i'd have a huge cock.

just saying.
it came up a few weeks ago when i was joking around with my boyfriend ("YOUR FACE" style) and then he said: "Oh yeah? Well if you were a guy you'd have a tiny cock."
............
And now i understand why this smallness-thing is a biiiiig insult to guys.
I got angry.
I got defensive.
I started telling him all the reasons that if i HAD a penis, it would be GINORMOUS. (that word is in the dictionary now, fuck you spell check!)
so, just to clear everything up:

If i were a guy, i'd have a huge cock.

That is all.