well i'm sick again. that's what i get for working at a preschool. DAMN KIDS!!! aww no i luvs them. ...(*glances around, sees no children, and shakes fist*)
also, i have a total inability to go to sleep if i have to pee AT ALL, like if i didn't pee within three minutes of getting into bed i will lay there obsessively thinking "should i get up and go pee? i think i kind of have to pee. no i'm probably fine. i barely have to pee. but i kind of have to pee. should i get up and pee?"
anyway this is a problem when i'm sick and drink like three gallons of tea and water+emergenC/airbourne because i'm trying to nip it in the bud (wow, i sound like my grandma. who is fucking INVINCIBLE by the way. what a badass. not that she would approve of me calling her that. probably. i wonder if she even knows what it means. aww my grandma's adorable.) but because i have 2 classes and 2 jobs and 1 boyfriend i never get enough sleep so i stay sick fo evah and it makes me sad and sniffly which pisses everyone off when we're in a test and i'm the back like "SNIIIIIF. HOCCCK. COUGGGGH. HAAACK. SNIIIIFFF" which i totally undersand because i hate it when people do that too.
i hate being sick because i can't (or shouldn't) climb and that makes me sad.
i loved being all hella ripped back in the day and scaring the bejeesus out of girls with my manly muscles and hardcore callouses. seriously. making girls gasp and jump when you flex or just when they see your arms or touch your hands. bwahhahahaha.
i think the british accent is a crock of shit.
this is because british singers DON'T HAVE A BRITISH ACCENT.
SUSPICIOUS??!!! yes. fucking exactly.
also, i can't understand british accents AT ALL, and kept asking "what's he saying? what's going on? can we turn the subtitles on?" when watching Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, and Boondock Saints. Seriously. I need a translator. They talk all fast and crazy and I DO NOT UNDERSTAND YOU PEOPLE.
also, i can't speak it ("it"=British). although for a while there whenever i was high i only and automatically talked in a british accent (it's SO FUNNY).
so my british accent sucks. most of my accent attempts are pretty sad, and end up being some kind of mixture of indian/british/russian/chinese.
i totally want to hear somebody speak chinese with a british accent.
or russian with a chinese accent.
or any other language, in another other language's accent.
....hehehe.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
i expect unicorns
The dichotomy:
My beautiful ballerina friend this weekend was having the great Mac/PC argument with her husband. When I asked for her advice for which sucks less (my computer takes about 7 minutes to start up and 2 just to open firefox, no shit i've timed this), she asked me several questions. One was "are you organized?"
This is a tricky question because I am on both ends of the spectrum and nowhere really in between.
On the one hand, my closet is color-coded in the order of the rainbow, with shirts within a color organized by length of sleeve. Apparently this is weird?
On the other hand, when taking notes in class, i don't have One Official Notebook. I take notes on the back of syllabi (SHUT UP spellcheck that is a word you fucking anti-Latin case-endings FREAK), on the back of old notes, on scraps of paper, on the inside of folders, and wherever the hell there's space to write because i'm not so organized in that way. As in, I'm incapable of schlepping one of my fucking millions of empty notebooks to class and taking notes on the pages sequentially left to right and not on my arm because i was late again and forgot to get paper and missed the bus again because i had to run inside to get a banana and some challah (pronounced HOLLA!!!) because who the fuck has time to eat in the morning when you set your alarm an hour before you need to go and hit the snooze button four times and then take a twenty-minute shower because hot running water is amazing and i think i lived in a third-world country in a past live given my deep, heartfelt appreciation (and lustful longing for) showers. And run-on sentences, apparently. I blame the blogess. She makes me want to take anti-depressents. (seriously.)
random shit in my mini Moleskines:
-"Sounds and noises and things...is what."
-"I (heart) wigwam)" (picture of a teepee...what is a wigwam anyway? well it's fun to say. wigam wigwam wigwam wigwam wigwam wigwam. and i totally typed all that out becuase i am HARDCORE WOO! fuck copy paste.)
-"They invented the shish-ka-bob"
-"I just had a thought, and the thought was.........oh fuck."
-" oximoronic (in a rap)"
-"band name Anemic Amboeic Amoeic Ameob Amoeba morpheme Amoebaic Amb Amoeba"
-"gay Nazi lady"
-"that thing you said wasn't me, WAS ME."
-"metonymic limerick"
-"nasal velar fricative"
-"winged moonlight/sunrise over Egypt"
and my personal favorite:
"I expect unicorns."
and you know what?
I DO.
My beautiful ballerina friend this weekend was having the great Mac/PC argument with her husband. When I asked for her advice for which sucks less (my computer takes about 7 minutes to start up and 2 just to open firefox, no shit i've timed this), she asked me several questions. One was "are you organized?"
This is a tricky question because I am on both ends of the spectrum and nowhere really in between.
On the one hand, my closet is color-coded in the order of the rainbow, with shirts within a color organized by length of sleeve. Apparently this is weird?
On the other hand, when taking notes in class, i don't have One Official Notebook. I take notes on the back of syllabi (SHUT UP spellcheck that is a word you fucking anti-Latin case-endings FREAK), on the back of old notes, on scraps of paper, on the inside of folders, and wherever the hell there's space to write because i'm not so organized in that way. As in, I'm incapable of schlepping one of my fucking millions of empty notebooks to class and taking notes on the pages sequentially left to right and not on my arm because i was late again and forgot to get paper and missed the bus again because i had to run inside to get a banana and some challah (pronounced HOLLA!!!) because who the fuck has time to eat in the morning when you set your alarm an hour before you need to go and hit the snooze button four times and then take a twenty-minute shower because hot running water is amazing and i think i lived in a third-world country in a past live given my deep, heartfelt appreciation (and lustful longing for) showers. And run-on sentences, apparently. I blame the blogess. She makes me want to take anti-depressents. (seriously.)
random shit in my mini Moleskines:
-"Sounds and noises and things...is what."
-"I (heart) wigwam)" (picture of a teepee...what is a wigwam anyway? well it's fun to say. wigam wigwam wigwam wigwam wigwam wigwam. and i totally typed all that out becuase i am HARDCORE WOO! fuck copy paste.)
-"They invented the shish-ka-bob"
-"I just had a thought, and the thought was.........oh fuck."
-" oximoronic (in a rap)"
-"band name Anemic Amboeic Amoeic Ameob Amoeba morpheme Amoebaic Amb Amoeba"
-"gay Nazi lady"
-"that thing you said wasn't me, WAS ME."
-"metonymic limerick"
-"nasal velar fricative"
-"winged moonlight/sunrise over Egypt"
and my personal favorite:
"I expect unicorns."
and you know what?
I DO.
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