slutty pajamas

ouch. my dog just punched me in the face with her face. it was my fault, actually, i was leaning in to smoosh her with my face like i do to show affection (tiny dogs=want to smush=how kaley shows affection) and anyway she lifted her head at just the wrong second and now my nose is throbbing. speaking of which, my boyfriend, his brother and i somehow ended up you-tubing* Things....But Very Slowly and watching slow-mo versions of...well...everything. how is this related? this guy gets punched in the face and it's pretty hilarious slo-mo.

*love verbification

i really should be a) studying physics, b) studying chinese c) working my part-time job from home or d) cleaning (we MOVED this weekend!!!!! yay!!!!) but i am, obviously, not. you're welcome.

OH. EM. GEE. my best friend, who is creepily like me in so many ways except for the fact that she voluntarily decided to live with five other girls, told me this Shockingly True story: apparently the wannabe-sorority girls she lives with have been talking about halloween costumes for a while, with no ideas deviating from the theme of Innocent Things Slutted Up, and after rejecting nineteen different Slutted-up Disney princesses, they started talking about dressing up as Snow White's seven dwarves.
but Slutted up.
so i'm picturing: beards and mini-skirts?
apparently they had in mind that Doc would be a Slutty Nurse (at which point they are not Doc, they are a disgusting sorority slut), et cetera. when my poor friend asked what the oh-so-innocent Sleepy would be, her roommates said excitedly "Sleazy!"
Okay, really, at that point you are not anything to with Disney movies, happy childhood memories, or even perverted drunken lingere'd versions of happy childhood memories, you are just wrong. just...no. and seriously, how could Sleepy even BE Sleazy? how do you have slutty pajamas? i sleep naked, is that slutty pajamas?

things like that make me lose all faith in humanity.

that and this amazing story: i was walking to my favorite coffee shop (Espresso Roma: tiny and eclectic and crowded and filled with music and random pictures and the smell of coffee) from CU when i heard two girls behind me having the following conversation:
Girl 1: So when we were in Rome I didn't gain weight, but in London I like gained a lot of weight because i was eating the same and not walking as much
Girl 2: Yeah totally, like here we're walking a lot and we're always late so we're walking all fast and sweating our balls off
Girl 1: Yeah totally.


SWEATING. OUR BALLS OFF.