and you roll of my tongue like Spanish
in my mouth you taste delicious then you leave me famished
scantily mad
daintily had
forever needing not conceding
never feeding can’t and bleeding
in my mind’s mind I spent the time
to decorate recreate the walls
with a paintbrush of steel
I convinced myself
blood is beautiful




leaving behind the swirling screaming
sadness madness of my old young mind
smile softly into the shimmering
let go of the need to rewind
if smiling is a flower
and she was trapped in autumn
her morning has come
dew drops tear drops fall
and her rose lips open up to the sun

god loves glitter!

I am so very over the Disney-fetish that some grown women seem to have. It is sick, and it is wrong. I enjoy a Disney movie as much as the next person (okay, probably more), and I can't begin to count the number of times i've seen Beauty and the Beast, but when a 20+ women's favorite store is the Disney store, when all of your jackets/purses/socks/accessories are covered with glittery fairies, and when going to Disneyland is the Ideal Vacation, you Must Be Stopped. I want to call a nationwide intervention for these people. It makes me want to puke.

If, anytime during my life previous to my college years, I saw myself as I look now, I would probably faint.
High School: Manpants. (tight pants=doomydoomydoom). Short, short, spiky, purple/blue hair. Ratty, old sneakers with mismatched, upside-down shoelaces. Boys' hoodie with a mini-noose tied on one of the strings. NO MAKEUP. Mostly black. NO PINK.

College: Girl pants (tight and everything!). Stylish haircut. Natural hair color. Long hair. Pink, lacy shirts. Fashionable flats. Cute jackets. Dangly earrings. Mascara. Foundation. Manicure. Pedicure.

Yeah, I'd have freaked out.



anyway, now that I have resigned myself to the fact that i am a Girl, i was doing a search for makeup cases (high-school Kaley would vomit) and found this:
"Cosmetic Bag, With God Everything Is Possible."
.....
That is actually the name of the bag. On some Christian site---they were serious. I had to check, but then i remembered that god never leaves home without his jesus-brand makeup purse! No, wait! It gets better! With God, purple paisley makeup bags are possible (god hates it when you leave the house without mascara on), but ALSO,
"Cosmetic Bag, I Thank God." god, i thank you for the polka dots covering my beauty supplies. you can rest assured your work is done here. i thank you, god, for your heavenly guidance et cetera et cetera, but mostly for letting me pay ten bucks for cloth in which to put my lipstick.
And! For those in need of a delusional reality check:
"Cosmetic Bag, God Is In Control." Don't even bother trying to curl those straight lashes, cover up those disgusting pimples, or generally attempt to look moderately appealing. god made you ugly because god hates sex. god is in control; why are you buying makeup anyway?
(I'd link you but that would be against my lack of religion.)


anyway, here is the most interesting bag i found (note the spiked collar)

since my last post was about how wonderful and fabulous the internet is and sent you all off to explore, i thought i'd at least post some warnings about the not-so-fabulous parts...
(click to enlarge*)
(*that's what she said?)

i am sick, don't feel so hot. i get suuuuper out-of-it when i'm sick. on wednesday, i left work early because i felt like crap and went to whole foods with my boyfriend to pick up soup 'n stuff, and even though it's august, it was freeezing out that evening when we went, raining and windy and just chilly. and of course whole foods is airconditioned like a mofo, so i was walking around in a tank top and shorts and shivering. the first thing i picked up was some of that hot, ready-made soup that whole foods make. about ten minutes later, nearing the end of our shopping trip, my boyfriend looks at me and says "why don't you put your hands around your soup to keep them warm?" and i stared, flabbergasted, because i was SO out-of-it that i had been walking around the entire store, shivering and freezing, holding my hot soup carefully such that i DID NOT touch it, because it was HOT.
yeah.
whoa.

goog

i less than three teh interweb

i spend a lot of time on the internet.
a LOT of time.
so i started wondering what i was actually doing when i wandered into the abyss, and decided to share my favorite activities/sites/articles.


Productivity*/Self-Improvement Sites

*i think it'd be fun to calculate the amount of time i've spent reading productivity articles vs. Actually Doing Stuff.

Zen Habits: This 4:30 AM-rising, vegan guy writes articles such as "8 Great Anti-Hacks to Fundamentally Change Your Life" where he suggests you "Embrace Your Inner Dilettante, be Flaky, and Denounce the Cult of Permanence" and "Pursue Self-Development Over Productivity." Pretty neat. He also has articles on frugal living, becoming an early riser, exercise, motivation, and compassion.


Steve Pavlina: Another motivated, spiritual, early-rising entrepreneur who inspired me to start polyphasic sleeping (a method of taking 20-minute naps six times a day instead of a solid 8-hour chunk). His articles include 10 Reasons You Should Never Get a Job and 10 Reasons You Should Never Have a Religion.


LifeHack: Awesome articles like How to Ask for (and Get) a Raise and How to Take Criticism like Donald Trump.



Helping Others

two sites i visit daily are the Hunger Site, where you just click on a button to donate rice and fight hunger, breast cancer, rainforest deforestation, and support child healthcare, literacy, and give food to animals in shelters.
i also visit Free Rice, where you expand your vocabulary by donating rice to the hungry.


Random Things

as flashmobs have gained popularity as of late, one of my favorite websites in the universe has got to be ImprovEverywhere, a group in New York dedicated to creating randomness. this site makes me happy.

a hilarious and wonderful blog that i have been reading loyally since high school, i give you...
MimiSmartypants.

as a linguist, i enjoy this list of 13 Words Not Found in English

as an elitist who shamelessly informs myspace fans of the sad, sad fact that myspace is for stalkers and 13-year olds, i enjoyed this article on how facebook users are not sucked into advertising on the site
(note: the article calls facebook the "worst performing site" for advertisers, but i happen
to be proud that my community is horrible for advertisers. fuck off, ads!)

i have ALWAYS wanted to see all of the opening couch scenes in the Simpsons

Like Pandora for the Internet, StumbleUpon is an application you add to your browser to wander the internet (you pick the categories you want to Stumble among). LOVE it.

StumbleUpon is where i find literally all of the random images i post with every post. like this one.

Video Games: 1. Reality: 0

true story: i was sitting at my desk as usual, surfing the internet (some possible sites browsed: my favorite blog ever, postsecret, etc.) as my boyfriend and his brother were talking about how they were bored of all the half-dozen video games they play regularly and what they should do. Conversation commenced as follows:
Brother: What do people do who don't play video games?
Boyfriend: Yeah, Kaley, you don't play video games, what do you do?
Me: Well, right now i'm reading about broccoli...

Video Games: 1. Reality: 0


in case you haven't been feeling snooty enough lately, have some fun with this:

sesquipedalian \ses-kwuh-puh-DAYL-yuhn\, adjective:

1. Given to or characterized by the use of long words.
2. Long and ponderous; having many syllables.
3. A long word.

in case you want more conversations like this:
1: The word i'm about to say is sesquipedalian.
2: what's that?
1: sesquipedalian? it's a long word.
2: yeah. i realized that. what's it mean?
1: sesquipedalian is a long word.
2: please go die.






Pandora: why didn't someone come up with this sooner? type in a band or song you like, and hear more like it. FUCK YEAH. through this i found my new favorite song EVER: Fern by Zoe Keating. it's cello electronica kinda? basically i liked it so much that i told my boyfriend "I found an artist that is so good they make me want to DRIVE, to a STORE, to pay, with MONEY, to PURCHASE, a PHYSICAL COPY."
in this age of itunes, that is a true compliment.
speaking of CDs, i was browsing through craigslist for a decent, lightweight desk with drawers and shelves (is that too much to ask?!) and saw approximately nine million desks with those CD separators and a lower shelf designed specifically for the desktop computer's rectangular brain. it's just funny to think that when those were designed like ten, twenty years ago, you know all the people who came up with those additions were like 'FUCK YEAH WE'RE EFFING GENIUSES' only to have their idea become antiquated within a decade with the advent of mp3s and the ubiquity of laptops. suckers.