god loves glitter!

I am so very over the Disney-fetish that some grown women seem to have. It is sick, and it is wrong. I enjoy a Disney movie as much as the next person (okay, probably more), and I can't begin to count the number of times i've seen Beauty and the Beast, but when a 20+ women's favorite store is the Disney store, when all of your jackets/purses/socks/accessories are covered with glittery fairies, and when going to Disneyland is the Ideal Vacation, you Must Be Stopped. I want to call a nationwide intervention for these people. It makes me want to puke.

If, anytime during my life previous to my college years, I saw myself as I look now, I would probably faint.
High School: Manpants. (tight pants=doomydoomydoom). Short, short, spiky, purple/blue hair. Ratty, old sneakers with mismatched, upside-down shoelaces. Boys' hoodie with a mini-noose tied on one of the strings. NO MAKEUP. Mostly black. NO PINK.

College: Girl pants (tight and everything!). Stylish haircut. Natural hair color. Long hair. Pink, lacy shirts. Fashionable flats. Cute jackets. Dangly earrings. Mascara. Foundation. Manicure. Pedicure.

Yeah, I'd have freaked out.



anyway, now that I have resigned myself to the fact that i am a Girl, i was doing a search for makeup cases (high-school Kaley would vomit) and found this:
"Cosmetic Bag, With God Everything Is Possible."
.....
That is actually the name of the bag. On some Christian site---they were serious. I had to check, but then i remembered that god never leaves home without his jesus-brand makeup purse! No, wait! It gets better! With God, purple paisley makeup bags are possible (god hates it when you leave the house without mascara on), but ALSO,
"Cosmetic Bag, I Thank God." god, i thank you for the polka dots covering my beauty supplies. you can rest assured your work is done here. i thank you, god, for your heavenly guidance et cetera et cetera, but mostly for letting me pay ten bucks for cloth in which to put my lipstick.
And! For those in need of a delusional reality check:
"Cosmetic Bag, God Is In Control." Don't even bother trying to curl those straight lashes, cover up those disgusting pimples, or generally attempt to look moderately appealing. god made you ugly because god hates sex. god is in control; why are you buying makeup anyway?
(I'd link you but that would be against my lack of religion.)


anyway, here is the most interesting bag i found (note the spiked collar)