hobo gauntlet

wrote this for first day of writing class last month.

Mid-winter...I love days like today, my favorite beauty is the rare misty mystery fog, the gray homogeny reminiscent of sipping coffee in London. Silence, fog of breath. I feel detail detracts from the simplicity, starkness.
Footprints in snow, solitary stone bench.
Then--vestiges of determination! Last remaining leaves clinging to skeleton trees.
And the always evergreen--this it their time to shine.


and this i wrote just now:

ubiquitous coquettish
smile of a style
walking like you're stalking
the he who haunted you.
like hot oversteeped
cinnamon tea
too good for your own good


i hate it-- walking from CU, through the underpass up to Espresso Roma. it's like a FUCKING GUANTLET.
it's TWO fucking blocks, but there are, in this order...1) Dude at bottom of underpass stairs passing out fliers silently so YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY'RE FOR. so NO, i'm not taking one, because last time it was a FLIER FOR JESUS.
(OPTIONAL: Homeless guy playing jazz saxaphone)
2) 3-5 homeless guys at the top of the stairs asking "spare any change?"
3.) THREE, not one or two but THREE, Greenpeace people kindly but aggressively trying to get you to talk to them in anyway (one of them said "You look like a superhero! What's your name?" and stretched out his hand")

My usual response to ANYONE who asks me for ANYTHING is a smile and "sorry." Even the guy who asked me my name, with his hand fucking stretched out to shake mine. I'm on to you! I will not be trapped into innocent conversation turning into me giving my credit card number to a stranger on the street! I don't care if it's for greenpeace! Anyway the dude was like "Your name's not 'sorry'!" And i just kept walking. Like, I feel kinda bad, and I know it's your job, but at least i didn't totally ignore you.

Another good option, one that makes them leave you alone but also makes them happy and also makes you a total liar is: "I'm a member." I'd say that to EVERYONE (k, except the homeless guys....that'd be weird.) and they get all pumped like "RIGHT ON! thanks for your support! have a rockin' day!" And i'd walk on, smug. I win.
Actually it wasn't a lie when i said it to the HRC (Human Rights Campaign) guy because i was a member. So i'm not ENTIRELY a HORRIBLE human being. Although...

another funny thing i kinda want to start saying is "Nope, I'm a horrible person!" with a cheery smile anytime somene asks me for change or if i have a minute for the environment.
ha.


i bought this today
because i wanted it.
because my current bag is a fucking hobo bag. and by "fucking hobo bag" i mean it's a nice-looking fake-leather over-the-shoulder black bag. but the seams are fraying because it's a cheap-ass peice of shit that makes me look like a fucking hobo. a hobo with a full-length fitted wool coat, dark-wash skinny jeans and cute flats. a fucking hobo.

i have noooooo idea why, but the other day totally randomly this phrase popped into my head: (and about no one in particular, or no one...not in particular) "The hottest thing about her is that she's not morbidly obese."

3 quality reasons to hate me:
1. I hate beer
2. I hate sushi
3. i hate cheesecake

hate away!

i have found TWO people, in my ENTIRE life, who also hate cheesecake. and not just like "meh, i don't really enjoy cheesecake" but "FUCK that! FUCK that shit. WHO PUTS CREAM CHEESE IN A DESERT?!" and one of them made a Facebook group with the acronym C.H.E.E.S.E.C.A.K.E:

Cheesecake Haters: Earnestly Execrating Supposedly Edible Cheesecake, And Killing Eaters-of.

really, just take a second and think about it. cheesecake. Cheese. Cake. CHEESE. and CAKE. CHEEEEEEEESE. and CAAAAAAAKE! ONEWORD.
You disgust me.