All aboard the failboat!

Task: Figure out what "parallel" means in the following texts.

TEXT 1: While persons okay indulge gardeners , the rears often strike in back of the dreadful businesss . You won't trade me shoping on the part of your molecular location . He
will ride barely , unless Ralph ships parallels in connection with Abdul 's insider . A lot of environmental exams are universal and other sorry variables are confused , but
will Jbilou long that ? Sheri tosses , then Talal fondly marchs a likely appendix among Zack 's horizon .

OPTIONS FOR MEANING OF "PARALLEL"

1: (cause to) be parallel to; equal
* Syntax Is: NP1 PARALLEL NP2 (to) (NP3)

"They paralleled the ditch to the highway."
"Their roles are paralleled by ours."
2: duplicate, match
* Syntax Is: NP1 PARALLEL NP2
"The white canvas paralleled his pale appearance."
3: None of the Above



TEXT 2:
We can't calm trusts unless Ziad will never drown afterwards . She 'd split primarily than stem with Ella 's creative polymer . I am eventually parallel , so I land you . Christopher , have a reasonable farm . You won't adopt it .




Hi! So you're all sitting there like "what the fuck dood." And I'm all "i KNOW, right??!"
WHAT THE FUCK DOOD and by DOOD i mean WORK. At this point, the only possible explanation i have come up with for the above sentences is that my supervervisors are just seeing if we're even paying attention. And also, is it just me or are the 2 possible meanings for "parallel" EXACTLY FUCKING THE SAME? Yes, yes they are.

In other news (do I even have another transition? No.)* i had my 21st birthday last Monday! Actually it fell on this year's Chinese New Year, which was pretty cool, and is also the reason NOBODY CAN FREAKING TELL ME whether i am a Rabbit or a Dragon. I was voting Dragon for a long time (come on, RABBIT??! come on.) but now i kind of don't care. Anyway, sadly, i discovered that the bars are boring. Not that this is all that sad, really. And by "the bars" i do mean "i went to one bar with a dance floor and danced a little bit, didn't drink at all, got bored and left."
Man, the things that make me lose my faith in humanity. Like this one chubbyasfuck little Asian chick who was about 5 feet tall with stilettos on with huge boobs who strutted up to me and my friend Val asking "Can i dance with you? You guys are hot" and proceeded to grind up against Val and then me, as i sent terrified PLEASESAVEME looks across to my boyfriend. *Shudder.* And that was before all the drunkies arrived! Like the guy with the Pedophile Moustache who kept staring at me. Ew.
Anyway, I'm rooting for Denver and going to go dancing there, where they actually have DANCE MUSIC instead of Top 40 hip-hop bullshit that ALL the drunk frat girls (what's that term? soriwhore? soristitute?) in the bar know the words to and sing along to loudly, and most horrifingly, PUT THEIR HANDS UP IN THE AIR when the songperson sings "put your hands up in the air."



*This reminds me of one of my many, many favorite Simpsons quotes:
"Hello. I'm Leonard Nimoy. The following tale of alien encounters is true. And by true, I mean false. It's all lies. But they're entertaining lies. And in the end, isn't that the real truth? The answer is: No."

Hoo boy! Well I'm spent. I haven't written in a while because I am a total failboat, but...well, i didn't really have and ending planned for that sentence. Let's just end this with "I am a total failboat."*

*Actually, i said "failboat" the other day at dinner with my dad and he asked what a "failboat" was and i explained that it could be anything, but that it's an internet caption thing having to do with boats or, er, failed "boats" and that a good example would be a guy riding a bicycle into the ocean with the caption "FAILBOAT." not that i've ever actually seen that, but it really WOULD be a good example of failboat and now i'm sad it doesn't exist.
Yet.