does this insecurity make my butt look big?

Okay, this is probably one of the weirdest things i've ever seen on a snack food item :
"May our White Cheddar Bunnies remind you of both the real and magical in life."

wow, Annie's. that's a pretty high expectation for CHEESE CRACKERS-- i don't care if they're organic. there's just nothing about delicious, cheesy, rabbit-shaped crunchy bits that reminds me of the "magical" in life.
although if i ever eat those while on drugs, i'll let you know if that changes.

well last night (friday) i had a pretty good night, although part of me still feels like i should feel like a loser for spending it at home cleaning my room dancing around and drinking wine alone. but i don't ACTUALLY feel like a loser, i just feel like i SHOULD feel like a loser for not spending fifty dollars on drinks at a bar with all my Friends as we obsessively document the Event to prove it happened ("if it's not on Facebook, it's like it never happened.")

plus, i totally HAVE friends, AND i hung out with BOTH of them yesterday.
so HA!

lately i've been wanting to give all my stuff away (okay i usually want to do that, and am actually doing a ton of it this weekend), move to another city (what city? any city. preferably abroad, and one that speaks another language) and change my name to Robot.
I'd also prefer to never have to wear pants again (as previously mentioned--fuck pants.) but apparently places have "Laws" about things like that. fuckin' A.
Maybe i'll found a city--Pantslessland...and everything will be open 24 hours for my convenience when i'm up at 4 in the morning and want some indian food or whatever.

one of my favorite, most favorite, most favorite, mostMOST favoritest things ever is walking my dog at night. it's cool, it's quiet, no one is around, and i get to be a creeper! YAY! creepin around. although i recently tried to stalk a friend of mine and found out that i'm like, the WORST stalker ever, so you have nothing to worry about.
unless you're that guy who watches the news every night at 9, in the house with the painting of a ship in the living room.
that's right.
(note: that was ALL A JOKE)
((i'm actually a really, really good stalker.))

holy shit i love being creepy.


one of my favorite things to do is think about where bands get their names, and i recently came across what is officially, in my book, THE BEST BAND NAME EVER: (particularly given my personal preference for likely interesting band-name etymologies:)

Brad Sucks

AND, (one of?) their album(s) name(s) is: "I Don't Know What I'm Doing."

fucking fanTAStic. i LOVE it.

OH MY GOD I JUST THOUGHT OF THE BEST PLAYA NAME EVER.
"Your Excellency"

holy SHIT i crack myself up.

by the way, that is totally copywrighted..copywritten? (WTF english) and by that i mean if anyone ever introduces themselves to me as "Your Excellency" i will stab you in the face.

...hopefully i never meet anyone who is ACTUALLY important.

stabbing the queen or a prime minister or whatever would be slightly embarrassing.

hmm. hopefully The Government has a sense of humor, because i'd really prefer to not be arrested for saying ridiculous things on the internet.

like ...schhhhNOOOBERFLAVEN!

that was pretty ridiculous.