evil robot from the future

I was lucky enough to get caught off-guard by this Facebook ad headline* "What will it feel like?"
Pop Quiz: Was this ad for....
a) New website for curious adolescent girls and more sexually experienced women to share information and sex education
b) Evil robots from the future
c) A cell phone

The correct/most fucked up answer? (i'm a ninja,** so i'm not really worried about evil robots from the future***) Yeah, the phone. Really, Blackberry? Couldn't you go with something about how your name is a delicous fruit? (not that I'd know, I don't think I've ever actually eaten a blackberry. DON'T JUDGE ME!)

*Is headline the right word? Can ads have headlines? You know what I'm talking about, right? The motto thing? Witty Catchphrase?

**As a longtime member of the Nerd camp**** it can pretty much be expected that I and all of my friends have Staunch Opinions on the Ninja vs. Pirate war. We're split pretty evenly (I can tell what type of person would be An Awesome Ninja versus some lameass pirate from a mile away) which I personally think is fucking ridiculous because, as far as I'm concerned (which is PRETTY EFFING FAR), Ninjas are fucking NINJAS and NOTHING could EVER kill, harm, come near, or even SEE a ninja, so why are we even HAVING this argument. Pirates are smelly and stinky and drunk and have scurvy and smell bad. Ninjas kill people like WHOA. Again, WHY are we talking about this?? Maybe I should ask a ninja.

***Looking back, that logic seems kind of random, but just to explain, since I am a ninja, I don't think that evil robots from the future would be more fucked up than using an awkwardly sexual ad headline for a phone. And looking back on that, I didn't really explain myself. I am a true ninja. A word ninja. That's a GOOD thing. HA! NINJA STAR!

****, when I thought/typed the word "camp" I remembered that old Nickelodeon show Salute Your Shorts...wow...good times. OH! And I'm totally in this Facebook group called "I HATE When Kids Can't Put Together the Shrine of the Silver Monkey." Because I do. I HATE it.


wow, sorry about that. It was getting kind of out of control out there in Asterick land. OH MY GOD. I just remembered having an intense conversation with a friend in which I insisted that Asterick would be an AWESOME name, and I really want to name my future child that. Boy or girl? Doesn't matter, they're both ASTERICK! It's like....an asteriod kicking your ass. Or a stripper name. Ass Trick. Sounds hot. DUDE. ALSO, they could just draw a little messy star next to the line that says Name_____ and their teachers would always be like "EXCUSE ME" and they'd be like "THAT'S MY NAME DON'T JUDGE ME! LAWSUIT!" And i'd be rich.

....I'm gonna go now.


okay i lied. i've been thinking about it....an evil NINJA robot from the future would scare the shit out of me.
Evil Ninja Robot.
From THE FUTURE.
Shit.
We're all fucked.