gramma, bananas, and WHERE THE HELL IS MY ANGER MANAGEMNT BOOK?!

let's try something new today, kids! i'm going all old-school gramma. (note the hip droppage of -'er', as in popular words such as 'balla' and 'holla.' i'll rap you some mothereffing GRAMMA, ho!") ..k where was i? Ah yes. Capitalizing the first word in a sentece, i.e. not being fucking lazy as all hell. But i still can't bring myself to capitalize my 'i's. (how do you type that? spell it out? "eyes"? Remove the seemingly unneessary mini-quotes? "is"? GAAH!) In high school, i had a social studies/history teacher (they're always the best) who, when someone raised their hand to ask to go to the bathroom(as is strictly required in 99% of high school settings) she blew up at him. She told him he was a fucking adult and could go to the bathroom whenever he goddamn well pleased. She told us that she had once QUIT A JOB because her boss wanted her to ask to go to the bathroom.
That woman is my hero.

In other news, the usually-rather-neato site of "I'll tell you what, Mr. Tubby FatPants, you can have my banana"* linked to a guy who went an entire weekend without television. *gasp!* an ENTIRE weekend??! But that MUSTN'T have included the Friday night What Not To Wear Marathon and the Sunday night Fucking Whatever! ....And she, someone so opinionated, picky, and bitchy, who generally fits the bill of "Where the HELL is my anger management book!??!" (Witty Catchphrase Alert!) respects that. You know what I respect? Someone who's not so disgustingly addicted to something that they brag about and write an entire blog post on the revelations of an ENTIRE (ENTIRE!) weekend with no TV. To me, that's like a methhead writing a five paragraph essay about an ENTIRE WEEKEND without meth. And the rest of us are like, "hey, that's really special and nice. it's a little sad that you're so fucking proud of it, because the second you shut your eyes, flail your arms and start screaming "I CAN STOP ANYTIME I WANT" is the second i shut you out of my life for being a failure at yours."
You know who i fucking respect? ME, for not having a TV, and not running around screaming about how Unique and Free and Productive i am.
So again, it makes me re-lose my faith (i've lost count at this point, after how many fucking seasons of american idol?*)*in our society and culture when an "entire weekend" without TV is now to be lauded as if it were, oh i don't now, some sort of accomplishment? As if were DIFFICULT? Something to be even MENTIONED, let alone APPLAUDED? That's. Just. Sad.

*yeah i linked to it a mere...yesterday? ago but it's FUCKING HILARIOUS, SO READ IT)

**that shit doesn't deserve to be capitalized. unless you're using "capitalized" as a new witty way to say "put to death for crimes against humanity via capital punishment"

mmmm, hot dog.