spank you, helpy helperton

some people just shouldn't have kids.
/exist.

case in point: there is one kid at the preschool who is pretty fucked up. like, he's sweet and all, but when you close him from the sandbox because you saw him throw blatantly and randomly sand in a TWO-YEAR OLD'S face, he'll look all SHOCKED and SAD and ANGRY--like "WHAT?! WHY would you CLOSE me from the SANDBOX?!" he never lets other kids play with him, but gets angry/tattle-y, and cryingly upset when they say no to him when he asks. He blatantly destroys other kids' toys and games and calls everyone names, and makes these really fucked-up little angry faces. honestly, i've never seen such an angry little kid. it's like, YOU'RE THREE. what do you POSSIBLY have to be that angry about?? anyway his parents recently asked us (angrily) to stop letting him eat afternoon snack because he wasn't eating dinner (and by dinner, I mean McDonald's/Pizza Hut). it's like, your kid is too full from organic fruits and vegetables to eat his greasy trans-fat cancer burger, and...apparently that's a BAD thing.
wow.

i was pretty scared to start seriously looking for a car after the ol' corolla* died but it's kinda sweet to watch car dealers tripping over themselves to sell me a car. like, i'm a lil' old twenty-year old girl with a thousand dollars in the bank (WOO) and they're calling me at home making offers and bringing cars in from Denver to show me because i mentioned i wanted an automatic, not a manual.

*we were talking about whether or not I care how a car looks, and steve said "well, you liked the corolla, and it looked like a meatball!"

also on the car note, one thing i am loving*** about buying a new car is the research. i am a total Nurd and i effing love researching. i make a haircut appointment? hours prior are spent finding a medley of potential haircuts online. my hairstylist has gotten used to my control freak-ism and the fact that i insist on bringing in 1-3 color photos and having a ten-minute long discussion on how i exactly i would want them to mesh into one amazing 'cut, which doesn't exist in Internet Picture Land, and which also must look perfect with no effort or styling beyond shampoo and a quick brush.
anyway, i love researching. i had a friend once who, when we were debating What Would Happen If Something Else Happened or something, he said "you should look it up. you're good at stuff like that." well...it's not so much that i'm "good" at it per se as much as the fact that i DO look it up, and no one else bothers. seriously. if you casually mention in conversation with me that you've been wondering such and such, next time i see you, be it tomorrow or three years from now, i will have researched, explored possibilites, made citations, and will have a discussion with you on the merits of the various theories and the validity of the experiments. and you will stare back at me blankly because you have no effing idea what i am freaking talking about.

*yeah just WATCH me use a stative verb in the present progressive!!!

okay, this post was the funniest shit i've read in a long time. free, indeed.

good, random, awesomely out-of-context quote from my roommate: "I don't care about the vagina!"
not that it really made sense in the context anyway.

besides teaching spanish at preschool, my other job is "tagging" verbs. meaning i look at sets of verbs ("action words!") in context of newspapers, usually, and tell the computer what the verb means in that situation (e.g. "run a business" vs. "run a race" vs. "run the numbers" etc.)
anyway sometimes it gets pretty philosophical--yesterday i found myself realizing i was being paid $11 an hour to think about whether or not you "have" or "experience" life.


YOU WOULD NOT BELEIVE ME IF I TOLD YOU
but the Star Wars theme is playing in the background while the three guys just finished LANing hours of video games are now playing Magic and drinking tea.
and i am reaaaaaaaaally happy it's not beer pong.


SPEAKING OF NERDS