Does anybody "Tweet"? I "Tweet" now. I am cool. I am popular. I have no friends.
I am fairlyliterate.
That is my Twitter name.
If you're on, you should friendify me.
Which is, by the way, a totally convincing and logical argument.
Also, join my cult.
A conversation about it between me and a Logic/Philosophy teacher/friend:
Me: Are you on Twitter? My sister just convinced me to join.
Him: What's her argument?
Me: She didn't really have an argument. She just said I should. And she's a smart lady.
Him: You call that convincing? It's time for Steve to kill you.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Monday, April 13, 2009
where is threre?
your youness interrupting my new meness
reminding me of the scattered erupting old shiny sadness
so i try to smile for a while
breathe and hold your color
remind me that i am me
my color holding fast and steady
electric blue
sad smile
fuck you
i look back at you and see
not a rational human being
but a robot comma drama queen
i want to just unlink me
screaming or silentquietly
sometimes songs are how i feel
reminding me of the scattered erupting old shiny sadness
so i try to smile for a while
breathe and hold your color
remind me that i am me
my color holding fast and steady
electric blue
sad smile
fuck you
i look back at you and see
not a rational human being
but a robot comma drama queen
i want to just unlink me
screaming or silentquietly
sometimes songs are how i feel
Friday, April 3, 2009
Fuck college attendance
Fuck college attendance.
Because you know what? Taking daily attendance and having it be a part of students' grade is...how shall I say this....utterly retarded.
If you're going to ditch, you're going to ditch. If you're going to ditch and mandatory attendance prevents it, then the teacher is helping the slackers who wouldn't come to class UNLESS there was mandatory attendance. Counting attendance does NOTHING to help the students who ALREADY go to class anyway, because they're already getting good grades.
Skipping class should presumably its own deterrent anyway, because missing classes=missing information=shitty grades. So slackers already have this lack of attendance reflected in their grades without the separate attendance portion---the required attendance portion, if it does exist and causes said slacker to go to class more, just brings up the grade of someone who totally does not deserve it because they are a lazy fuck.
All counting attendance does for people who go to class anyway, like me, is to fuck them over when they get sick nine times a semester because they work at a preschool.
All counting attendance does for people who wouldn't go to class without it, is help the grades of undeserving people.
PLUS: I believe that if you can get a good grade in the class without having to go (often because the teacher is shitty, teaches out of the book, repeats what you already know, and is generally wasting your time), you should be able to. It just means that the teacher sucked--if you can get all of the information on your own, via the textbook, then sitting in class reviewing what you previously understood is a waste.
Counting attendance is a weak way for teachers to attempt to get kids to come to class, when if they were decent teachers, the kids who didn't come to class would get fucked over in their grade.
I had one Spanish literature teacher who designed the following schedule:
1. Assign a reading.
2. Assign reading questions as homework with the reading.
3. In class, split into small groups and discuss the reading questions.
4. Next, the class as a whole discusses the reading questions.
And--she counted attendance.
It infuriated me. If you understand the reading when you read it, the reading questions themselves are already redundant. Discussing in small groups is angering, because you've already been over the material twice (and, in the case of Spanish classes, you have to deal with sororiwhores who didn't do/understand the reading, barely speak/read/understand and don't even LIKE Spanish--which is their fucking major). So by the time it came to the group discussion, I'd be bored out of my head, and pissed off at the fact that this waste of my time was a portion of my grade.
Oh--and everyone liked the teacher, because she was "nice." And they were dumb.
I had another teacher who taught out of the book--but she was good at it. So nobody noticed, except the one other linguistics major in the class, which I found entertaining. I spent my days in that class (again, required attendance!) watching the soristitutues diligently taking notes in their neat, rounded handwriting, while I LITERALLY underlined the relevant sentence in the book. Because the teacher said nothing that was not in the fucking textbook--and yet she made us come to class.
TEACHERS: Don't try to "help" us by "encouraging" us to come to class via required attendance. If you class is useful, people will come (and if they don't, they deserve the grade they get). If your class is worthless, you are wasting my time.
Because you know what? Taking daily attendance and having it be a part of students' grade is...how shall I say this....utterly retarded.
If you're going to ditch, you're going to ditch. If you're going to ditch and mandatory attendance prevents it, then the teacher is helping the slackers who wouldn't come to class UNLESS there was mandatory attendance. Counting attendance does NOTHING to help the students who ALREADY go to class anyway, because they're already getting good grades.
Skipping class should presumably its own deterrent anyway, because missing classes=missing information=shitty grades. So slackers already have this lack of attendance reflected in their grades without the separate attendance portion---the required attendance portion, if it does exist and causes said slacker to go to class more, just brings up the grade of someone who totally does not deserve it because they are a lazy fuck.
All counting attendance does for people who go to class anyway, like me, is to fuck them over when they get sick nine times a semester because they work at a preschool.
All counting attendance does for people who wouldn't go to class without it, is help the grades of undeserving people.
PLUS: I believe that if you can get a good grade in the class without having to go (often because the teacher is shitty, teaches out of the book, repeats what you already know, and is generally wasting your time), you should be able to. It just means that the teacher sucked--if you can get all of the information on your own, via the textbook, then sitting in class reviewing what you previously understood is a waste.
Counting attendance is a weak way for teachers to attempt to get kids to come to class, when if they were decent teachers, the kids who didn't come to class would get fucked over in their grade.
I had one Spanish literature teacher who designed the following schedule:
1. Assign a reading.
2. Assign reading questions as homework with the reading.
3. In class, split into small groups and discuss the reading questions.
4. Next, the class as a whole discusses the reading questions.
And--she counted attendance.
It infuriated me. If you understand the reading when you read it, the reading questions themselves are already redundant. Discussing in small groups is angering, because you've already been over the material twice (and, in the case of Spanish classes, you have to deal with sororiwhores who didn't do/understand the reading, barely speak/read/understand and don't even LIKE Spanish--which is their fucking major). So by the time it came to the group discussion, I'd be bored out of my head, and pissed off at the fact that this waste of my time was a portion of my grade.
Oh--and everyone liked the teacher, because she was "nice." And they were dumb.
I had another teacher who taught out of the book--but she was good at it. So nobody noticed, except the one other linguistics major in the class, which I found entertaining. I spent my days in that class (again, required attendance!) watching the soristitutues diligently taking notes in their neat, rounded handwriting, while I LITERALLY underlined the relevant sentence in the book. Because the teacher said nothing that was not in the fucking textbook--and yet she made us come to class.
TEACHERS: Don't try to "help" us by "encouraging" us to come to class via required attendance. If you class is useful, people will come (and if they don't, they deserve the grade they get). If your class is worthless, you are wasting my time.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
at least i am a superhero.
So apparently, when a movie gets universally excellent reviews about how "deep" and "affecting" it is, i should never, ever go see it.
Reason 1:
i am really, really, really easily creeped out.
When i was little, i had a genuine phobia of Oompaloompas. i had a really sadistic friend* who figured out how to play that horrible Oompaloompa song on her clarinet just to flip me out during band class. One halloween, the math and art teachers at my middle school who were getting married DRESSED UP AS OOMPALOOMPAS (who DOES that??!?) and this girl--you guessed it!!!--voraciously (is that the right word?) flagged them down and insisted they sit by me, while i curled up, hyperventalating.
*this sadistic friend is the girl that, when we were little, would invite me over to watch Titanic in elementary school just to turn around in her chair and watch me with glee as i cried when Leonardo DiCaprio died.** This is the same girl who, knowing my utter inability to not-vomit at the sight of other people's blood (a reversal; i was fine with the sight of my own blood, and, in high school, pretty darn excited about it) would turn on medical dramas and literally force my eyes open as i squirmed and they cut innards open and whatnot. This girl is now, funnily enough, a nurse.
ah, friendship.
**HOW HARD CAN IT BE TO FIT TWO PEOPLE ON A DOOR?!
Anyway, all that was leading up to the fact that i didn't really like Coraline., *GASP!* you say! well, i didn't DISLIKE it, and i totally APPRECIATED the art and the concept and the Neil Gaiman-ness of it all, but i just found it too creepy to really enjoy. they did a really good job of that. so creepy i don't want to wach it. congratulations.
Reason 2: I don't like bad guys.
Disney movies are honestly a little too dark for me sometimes, and i would prefer if they didn't have bad guys.
I had less ambivalent feelings about There Will Be Blood than Coraline. I fucking HATED that godawful, depressing, slow, dull, depressing, deprssing, depressing horrible movie. I watched it with the boyfriend and his brother and the whole time we were just sitting there like "why are we still watching this?" eventually the two of them did stop watching, but, with the same optimistic, naiive tenacaity that insisted i stick it out through 4 years of on-off emotionally abusive relationship with the ex, i watched the whole thing ("the end will make it worth it..."). which i was later ACTUALLY glad about when Roommate showed me this gem of a parody: There Will Be Bud. Anyway, what is the POINT of watching a movie where you hate ALL the characters, have lost faith in ALL of humanity, and are horribly depressed and hope everyone in the movie just fucking dies a horrible violent death.
And again, I appreciated it. The concept, the cinematics, blah blah blah. I just didn't fucking LIKE it.
So i got my wisdom teeth out. it is spring break. woo.
i have spent the last four days lying on my couch drinking soup and smoothies and watching the first three seasons of the Office and even had a most-exciting bout with vomiting the day after the surgery! And yes, violently puking up acid over open wounds and bleeding gums is about as awesome as it sounds.
so yeah.
at least i am a superhero.
(thanks, Ally B)
Reason 1:
i am really, really, really easily creeped out.
When i was little, i had a genuine phobia of Oompaloompas. i had a really sadistic friend* who figured out how to play that horrible Oompaloompa song on her clarinet just to flip me out during band class. One halloween, the math and art teachers at my middle school who were getting married DRESSED UP AS OOMPALOOMPAS (who DOES that??!?) and this girl--you guessed it!!!--voraciously (is that the right word?) flagged them down and insisted they sit by me, while i curled up, hyperventalating.
*this sadistic friend is the girl that, when we were little, would invite me over to watch Titanic in elementary school just to turn around in her chair and watch me with glee as i cried when Leonardo DiCaprio died.** This is the same girl who, knowing my utter inability to not-vomit at the sight of other people's blood (a reversal; i was fine with the sight of my own blood, and, in high school, pretty darn excited about it) would turn on medical dramas and literally force my eyes open as i squirmed and they cut innards open and whatnot. This girl is now, funnily enough, a nurse.
ah, friendship.
**HOW HARD CAN IT BE TO FIT TWO PEOPLE ON A DOOR?!
Anyway, all that was leading up to the fact that i didn't really like Coraline., *GASP!* you say! well, i didn't DISLIKE it, and i totally APPRECIATED the art and the concept and the Neil Gaiman-ness of it all, but i just found it too creepy to really enjoy. they did a really good job of that. so creepy i don't want to wach it. congratulations.
Reason 2: I don't like bad guys.
Disney movies are honestly a little too dark for me sometimes, and i would prefer if they didn't have bad guys.
I had less ambivalent feelings about There Will Be Blood than Coraline. I fucking HATED that godawful, depressing, slow, dull, depressing, deprssing, depressing horrible movie. I watched it with the boyfriend and his brother and the whole time we were just sitting there like "why are we still watching this?" eventually the two of them did stop watching, but, with the same optimistic, naiive tenacaity that insisted i stick it out through 4 years of on-off emotionally abusive relationship with the ex, i watched the whole thing ("the end will make it worth it..."). which i was later ACTUALLY glad about when Roommate showed me this gem of a parody: There Will Be Bud. Anyway, what is the POINT of watching a movie where you hate ALL the characters, have lost faith in ALL of humanity, and are horribly depressed and hope everyone in the movie just fucking dies a horrible violent death.
And again, I appreciated it. The concept, the cinematics, blah blah blah. I just didn't fucking LIKE it.
So i got my wisdom teeth out. it is spring break. woo.
i have spent the last four days lying on my couch drinking soup and smoothies and watching the first three seasons of the Office and even had a most-exciting bout with vomiting the day after the surgery! And yes, violently puking up acid over open wounds and bleeding gums is about as awesome as it sounds.
so yeah.
at least i am a superhero.
(thanks, Ally B)
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
hokey dokey
Sometimes I realize randomly that people are at different stages in their lives. It's obvious, but sometimes i just stop and realize that not everyone is in college right now, or grew up with Rocko's Modern Life and Salute Your Shorts. Right now, as i'm sleep-deprived college kid, happily not hungover from St. Patrick's Day, constantly bitching about school and so busy and tired i sometimes just want to cry, some people are just beginning life. Seriously. Think about it. People are being born RIGHT NOW. They'll grow up with digital cameras, not Poloroids and film, with MP3s and iPods, not Discmans and CDs. They'll grow up with Obama as president and the ice caps melting and the war in Iraq--those will be their childhood memories. Some people are just beginning life. Some people are about to leave it--they grew up with world wars, with the Depression, with record players. We live in a similar timeframe as so few people. Constant renewal. Constant surprise.
Well it's been really hard to focus lately. I think i burned myself out at the beginning of the semester when i was going hella strong---going to school, then work, then studying/homeworking for seven hours before bed and feeling guilty if i spent twenty minutes on Facebook. and now...now all i want to do is sleep. Last week was so bad and i was so sleep-deprived. that i pretty much didn't give a shit about papers, projects, homework, or class. All i cared about was sleep. I haven't really gotten over that.
And the next person who talks about their flight to Hawaii or fucking whatever is getting their ovaries punched. The fact that i'm excited about spring break at ALL is kind of amazing considering my plans are: Getting my wisom teeth out. WOOOOOOOOO! People were handing out "spring break packets" or some shit on campus today, probably sunscreen and condoms. Just rub it in why don't you! My "spring break kit" will be vikodin and ice cream.
Okay, so maybe it won't be so bad...
And while i may have spent the last three inconsistently-capitalized-and-indented paragraphs bitching about shit that doesn't matter (oh how Buddhist of me) i just HAVE to say that i am really, really, really sick of people flipping out whenever Facebook changes their layout. Everyone's all "OH GOD THIS SUCKS BRING THE OLD ONE BACK I AM TYPING IN ALL CAPS TO EXPRESS MY FURY AT THE SLIGHT INCONVENIENE OF INEVITABLE CHANGE" when last time Facebook changed their layout, everyone flipped out. And the NEXT time they change it, everyone will be begging for this one. I don't get what the big deal is. I don't even remember what the old one was like, or why any of this shit matters to anyone at all.
have i mentioned i'd kill for a nap?
Well it's been really hard to focus lately. I think i burned myself out at the beginning of the semester when i was going hella strong---going to school, then work, then studying/homeworking for seven hours before bed and feeling guilty if i spent twenty minutes on Facebook. and now...now all i want to do is sleep. Last week was so bad and i was so sleep-deprived. that i pretty much didn't give a shit about papers, projects, homework, or class. All i cared about was sleep. I haven't really gotten over that.
And the next person who talks about their flight to Hawaii or fucking whatever is getting their ovaries punched. The fact that i'm excited about spring break at ALL is kind of amazing considering my plans are: Getting my wisom teeth out. WOOOOOOOOO! People were handing out "spring break packets" or some shit on campus today, probably sunscreen and condoms. Just rub it in why don't you! My "spring break kit" will be vikodin and ice cream.
Okay, so maybe it won't be so bad...
And while i may have spent the last three inconsistently-capitalized-and-indented paragraphs bitching about shit that doesn't matter (oh how Buddhist of me) i just HAVE to say that i am really, really, really sick of people flipping out whenever Facebook changes their layout. Everyone's all "OH GOD THIS SUCKS BRING THE OLD ONE BACK I AM TYPING IN ALL CAPS TO EXPRESS MY FURY AT THE SLIGHT INCONVENIENE OF INEVITABLE CHANGE" when last time Facebook changed their layout, everyone flipped out. And the NEXT time they change it, everyone will be begging for this one. I don't get what the big deal is. I don't even remember what the old one was like, or why any of this shit matters to anyone at all.
have i mentioned i'd kill for a nap?
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
hobo gauntlet
wrote this for first day of writing class last month.
Mid-winter...I love days like today, my favorite beauty is the rare misty mystery fog, the gray homogeny reminiscent of sipping coffee in London. Silence, fog of breath. I feel detail detracts from the simplicity, starkness.
Footprints in snow, solitary stone bench.
Then--vestiges of determination! Last remaining leaves clinging to skeleton trees.
And the always evergreen--this it their time to shine.
and this i wrote just now:
ubiquitous coquettish
smile of a style
walking like you're stalking
the he who haunted you.
like hot oversteeped
cinnamon tea
too good for your own good
i hate it-- walking from CU, through the underpass up to Espresso Roma. it's like a FUCKING GUANTLET.
it's TWO fucking blocks, but there are, in this order...1) Dude at bottom of underpass stairs passing out fliers silently so YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY'RE FOR. so NO, i'm not taking one, because last time it was a FLIER FOR JESUS.
(OPTIONAL: Homeless guy playing jazz saxaphone)
2) 3-5 homeless guys at the top of the stairs asking "spare any change?"
3.) THREE, not one or two but THREE, Greenpeace people kindly but aggressively trying to get you to talk to them in anyway (one of them said "You look like a superhero! What's your name?" and stretched out his hand")
My usual response to ANYONE who asks me for ANYTHING is a smile and "sorry." Even the guy who asked me my name, with his hand fucking stretched out to shake mine. I'm on to you! I will not be trapped into innocent conversation turning into me giving my credit card number to a stranger on the street! I don't care if it's for greenpeace! Anyway the dude was like "Your name's not 'sorry'!" And i just kept walking. Like, I feel kinda bad, and I know it's your job, but at least i didn't totally ignore you.
Another good option, one that makes them leave you alone but also makes them happy and also makes you a total liar is: "I'm a member." I'd say that to EVERYONE (k, except the homeless guys....that'd be weird.) and they get all pumped like "RIGHT ON! thanks for your support! have a rockin' day!" And i'd walk on, smug. I win.
Actually it wasn't a lie when i said it to the HRC (Human Rights Campaign) guy because i was a member. So i'm not ENTIRELY a HORRIBLE human being. Although...
another funny thing i kinda want to start saying is "Nope, I'm a horrible person!" with a cheery smile anytime somene asks me for change or if i have a minute for the environment.
ha.
i bought this today
because i wanted it.
because my current bag is a fucking hobo bag. and by "fucking hobo bag" i mean it's a nice-looking fake-leather over-the-shoulder black bag. but the seams are fraying because it's a cheap-ass peice of shit that makes me look like a fucking hobo. a hobo with a full-length fitted wool coat, dark-wash skinny jeans and cute flats. a fucking hobo.
i have noooooo idea why, but the other day totally randomly this phrase popped into my head: (and about no one in particular, or no one...not in particular) "The hottest thing about her is that she's not morbidly obese."
3 quality reasons to hate me:
1. I hate beer
2. I hate sushi
3. i hate cheesecake
hate away!
i have found TWO people, in my ENTIRE life, who also hate cheesecake. and not just like "meh, i don't really enjoy cheesecake" but "FUCK that! FUCK that shit. WHO PUTS CREAM CHEESE IN A DESERT?!" and one of them made a Facebook group with the acronym C.H.E.E.S.E.C.A.K.E:
really, just take a second and think about it. cheesecake. Cheese. Cake. CHEESE. and CAKE. CHEEEEEEEESE. and CAAAAAAAKE! ONEWORD.
You disgust me.
Mid-winter...I love days like today, my favorite beauty is the rare misty mystery fog, the gray homogeny reminiscent of sipping coffee in London. Silence, fog of breath. I feel detail detracts from the simplicity, starkness.
Footprints in snow, solitary stone bench.
Then--vestiges of determination! Last remaining leaves clinging to skeleton trees.
And the always evergreen--this it their time to shine.
and this i wrote just now:
ubiquitous coquettish
smile of a style
walking like you're stalking
the he who haunted you.
like hot oversteeped
cinnamon tea
too good for your own good
i hate it-- walking from CU, through the underpass up to Espresso Roma. it's like a FUCKING GUANTLET.
it's TWO fucking blocks, but there are, in this order...1) Dude at bottom of underpass stairs passing out fliers silently so YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY'RE FOR. so NO, i'm not taking one, because last time it was a FLIER FOR JESUS.
(OPTIONAL: Homeless guy playing jazz saxaphone)
2) 3-5 homeless guys at the top of the stairs asking "spare any change?"
3.) THREE, not one or two but THREE, Greenpeace people kindly but aggressively trying to get you to talk to them in anyway (one of them said "You look like a superhero! What's your name?" and stretched out his hand")
My usual response to ANYONE who asks me for ANYTHING is a smile and "sorry." Even the guy who asked me my name, with his hand fucking stretched out to shake mine. I'm on to you! I will not be trapped into innocent conversation turning into me giving my credit card number to a stranger on the street! I don't care if it's for greenpeace! Anyway the dude was like "Your name's not 'sorry'!" And i just kept walking. Like, I feel kinda bad, and I know it's your job, but at least i didn't totally ignore you.
Another good option, one that makes them leave you alone but also makes them happy and also makes you a total liar is: "I'm a member." I'd say that to EVERYONE (k, except the homeless guys....that'd be weird.) and they get all pumped like "RIGHT ON! thanks for your support! have a rockin' day!" And i'd walk on, smug. I win.
Actually it wasn't a lie when i said it to the HRC (Human Rights Campaign) guy because i was a member. So i'm not ENTIRELY a HORRIBLE human being. Although...
another funny thing i kinda want to start saying is "Nope, I'm a horrible person!" with a cheery smile anytime somene asks me for change or if i have a minute for the environment.
ha.
i bought this today
because i wanted it.
because my current bag is a fucking hobo bag. and by "fucking hobo bag" i mean it's a nice-looking fake-leather over-the-shoulder black bag. but the seams are fraying because it's a cheap-ass peice of shit that makes me look like a fucking hobo. a hobo with a full-length fitted wool coat, dark-wash skinny jeans and cute flats. a fucking hobo.
i have noooooo idea why, but the other day totally randomly this phrase popped into my head: (and about no one in particular, or no one...not in particular) "The hottest thing about her is that she's not morbidly obese."
3 quality reasons to hate me:
1. I hate beer
2. I hate sushi
3. i hate cheesecake
hate away!
i have found TWO people, in my ENTIRE life, who also hate cheesecake. and not just like "meh, i don't really enjoy cheesecake" but "FUCK that! FUCK that shit. WHO PUTS CREAM CHEESE IN A DESERT?!" and one of them made a Facebook group with the acronym C.H.E.E.S.E.C.A.K.E:
Cheesecake Haters: Earnestly Execrating Supposedly Edible Cheesecake, And Killing Eaters-of.
really, just take a second and think about it. cheesecake. Cheese. Cake. CHEESE. and CAKE. CHEEEEEEEESE. and CAAAAAAAKE! ONEWORD.
You disgust me.
Monday, February 2, 2009
does this insecurity make my butt look big?
Okay, this is probably one of the weirdest things i've ever seen on a snack food item :
"May our White Cheddar Bunnies remind you of both the real and magical in life."
wow, Annie's. that's a pretty high expectation for CHEESE CRACKERS-- i don't care if they're organic. there's just nothing about delicious, cheesy, rabbit-shaped crunchy bits that reminds me of the "magical" in life.
although if i ever eat those while on drugs, i'll let you know if that changes.
well last night (friday) i had a pretty good night, although part of me still feels like i should feel like a loser for spending it at home cleaning my room dancing around and drinking wine alone. but i don't ACTUALLY feel like a loser, i just feel like i SHOULD feel like a loser for not spending fifty dollars on drinks at a bar with all my Friends as we obsessively document the Event to prove it happened ("if it's not on Facebook, it's like it never happened.")
plus, i totally HAVE friends, AND i hung out with BOTH of them yesterday.
so HA!
lately i've been wanting to give all my stuff away (okay i usually want to do that, and am actually doing a ton of it this weekend), move to another city (what city? any city. preferably abroad, and one that speaks another language) and change my name to Robot.
I'd also prefer to never have to wear pants again (as previously mentioned--fuck pants.) but apparently places have "Laws" about things like that. fuckin' A.
Maybe i'll found a city--Pantslessland...and everything will be open 24 hours for my convenience when i'm up at 4 in the morning and want some indian food or whatever.
one of my favorite, most favorite, most favorite, mostMOST favoritest things ever is walking my dog at night. it's cool, it's quiet, no one is around, and i get to be a creeper! YAY! creepin around. although i recently tried to stalk a friend of mine and found out that i'm like, the WORST stalker ever, so you have nothing to worry about.
unless you're that guy who watches the news every night at 9, in the house with the painting of a ship in the living room.
that's right.
(note: that was ALL A JOKE)
((i'm actually a really, really good stalker.))
holy shit i love being creepy.
one of my favorite things to do is think about where bands get their names, and i recently came across what is officially, in my book, THE BEST BAND NAME EVER: (particularly given my personal preference for likely interesting band-name etymologies:)
Brad Sucks
AND, (one of?) their album(s) name(s) is: "I Don't Know What I'm Doing."
fucking fanTAStic. i LOVE it.
OH MY GOD I JUST THOUGHT OF THE BEST PLAYA NAME EVER.
"Your Excellency"
holy SHIT i crack myself up.
by the way, that is totally copywrighted..copywritten? (WTF english) and by that i mean if anyone ever introduces themselves to me as "Your Excellency" i will stab you in the face.
...hopefully i never meet anyone who is ACTUALLY important.
stabbing the queen or a prime minister or whatever would be slightly embarrassing.
hmm. hopefully The Government has a sense of humor, because i'd really prefer to not be arrested for saying ridiculous things on the internet.
like ...schhhhNOOOBERFLAVEN!
that was pretty ridiculous.
"May our White Cheddar Bunnies remind you of both the real and magical in life."
wow, Annie's. that's a pretty high expectation for CHEESE CRACKERS-- i don't care if they're organic. there's just nothing about delicious, cheesy, rabbit-shaped crunchy bits that reminds me of the "magical" in life.
although if i ever eat those while on drugs, i'll let you know if that changes.
well last night (friday) i had a pretty good night, although part of me still feels like i should feel like a loser for spending it at home cleaning my room dancing around and drinking wine alone. but i don't ACTUALLY feel like a loser, i just feel like i SHOULD feel like a loser for not spending fifty dollars on drinks at a bar with all my Friends as we obsessively document the Event to prove it happened ("if it's not on Facebook, it's like it never happened.")
plus, i totally HAVE friends, AND i hung out with BOTH of them yesterday.
so HA!
lately i've been wanting to give all my stuff away (okay i usually want to do that, and am actually doing a ton of it this weekend), move to another city (what city? any city. preferably abroad, and one that speaks another language) and change my name to Robot.
I'd also prefer to never have to wear pants again (as previously mentioned--fuck pants.) but apparently places have "Laws" about things like that. fuckin' A.
Maybe i'll found a city--Pantslessland...and everything will be open 24 hours for my convenience when i'm up at 4 in the morning and want some indian food or whatever.
one of my favorite, most favorite, most favorite, mostMOST favoritest things ever is walking my dog at night. it's cool, it's quiet, no one is around, and i get to be a creeper! YAY! creepin around. although i recently tried to stalk a friend of mine and found out that i'm like, the WORST stalker ever, so you have nothing to worry about.
unless you're that guy who watches the news every night at 9, in the house with the painting of a ship in the living room.
that's right.
(note: that was ALL A JOKE)
((i'm actually a really, really good stalker.))
holy shit i love being creepy.
one of my favorite things to do is think about where bands get their names, and i recently came across what is officially, in my book, THE BEST BAND NAME EVER: (particularly given my personal preference for likely interesting band-name etymologies:)
Brad Sucks
AND, (one of?) their album(s) name(s) is: "I Don't Know What I'm Doing."
fucking fanTAStic. i LOVE it.
OH MY GOD I JUST THOUGHT OF THE BEST PLAYA NAME EVER.
"Your Excellency"
holy SHIT i crack myself up.
by the way, that is totally copywrighted..copywritten? (WTF english) and by that i mean if anyone ever introduces themselves to me as "Your Excellency" i will stab you in the face.
...hopefully i never meet anyone who is ACTUALLY important.
stabbing the queen or a prime minister or whatever would be slightly embarrassing.
hmm. hopefully The Government has a sense of humor, because i'd really prefer to not be arrested for saying ridiculous things on the internet.
like ...schhhhNOOOBERFLAVEN!
that was pretty ridiculous.
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