at least i am a superhero.

So apparently, when a movie gets universally excellent reviews about how "deep" and "affecting" it is, i should never, ever go see it.

Reason 1:
i am really, really, really easily creeped out.
When i was little, i had a genuine phobia of Oompaloompas. i had a really sadistic friend* who figured out how to play that horrible Oompaloompa song on her clarinet just to flip me out during band class. One halloween, the math and art teachers at my middle school who were getting married DRESSED UP AS OOMPALOOMPAS (who DOES that??!?) and this girl--you guessed it!!!--voraciously (is that the right word?) flagged them down and insisted they sit by me, while i curled up, hyperventalating.

*this sadistic friend is the girl that, when we were little, would invite me over to watch Titanic in elementary school just to turn around in her chair and watch me with glee as i cried when Leonardo DiCaprio died.** This is the same girl who, knowing my utter inability to not-vomit at the sight of other people's blood (a reversal; i was fine with the sight of my own blood, and, in high school, pretty darn excited about it) would turn on medical dramas and literally force my eyes open as i squirmed and they cut innards open and whatnot. This girl is now, funnily enough, a nurse.
ah, friendship.

**HOW HARD CAN IT BE TO FIT TWO PEOPLE ON A DOOR?!

Anyway, all that was leading up to the fact that i didn't really like Coraline., *GASP!* you say! well, i didn't DISLIKE it, and i totally APPRECIATED the art and the concept and the Neil Gaiman-ness of it all, but i just found it too creepy to really enjoy. they did a really good job of that. so creepy i don't want to wach it. congratulations.

Reason 2: I don't like bad guys.
Disney movies are honestly a little too dark for me sometimes, and i would prefer if they didn't have bad guys.

I had less ambivalent feelings about There Will Be Blood than Coraline. I fucking HATED that godawful, depressing, slow, dull, depressing, deprssing, depressing horrible movie. I watched it with the boyfriend and his brother and the whole time we were just sitting there like "why are we still watching this?" eventually the two of them did stop watching, but, with the same optimistic, naiive tenacaity that insisted i stick it out through 4 years of on-off emotionally abusive relationship with the ex, i watched the whole thing ("the end will make it worth it..."). which i was later ACTUALLY glad about when Roommate showed me this gem of a parody: There Will Be Bud. Anyway, what is the POINT of watching a movie where you hate ALL the characters, have lost faith in ALL of humanity, and are horribly depressed and hope everyone in the movie just fucking dies a horrible violent death.
And again, I appreciated it. The concept, the cinematics, blah blah blah. I just didn't fucking LIKE it.

So i got my wisdom teeth out. it is spring break. woo.
i have spent the last four days lying on my couch drinking soup and smoothies and watching the first three seasons of the Office and even had a most-exciting bout with vomiting the day after the surgery! And yes, violently puking up acid over open wounds and bleeding gums is about as awesome as it sounds.
so yeah.

at least i am a superhero.
(thanks, Ally B)